They are a vital part of any single mans night out. They Wingman. Now i’ve been going out a lot lately  since i started my new job and i have to tell you the standard of wingmen out here is real poor. I’ve seen some appalling performances from wing men in the last month alone.  I fully appreciate the  how willing my current wingman is but we do it for each other we know if there’s a friend that needs distracting  the other one will do it no questions there’s not even a need to ask.

As an example of poor wingmanship  me and my wingman were out on saturday night   having a few drinks in a bar before we went to the club. We got a few drinks hit the dance floor then proceeded to look for some ladies to talk to as we did this we observed some wingmanship that was so bad we actually fought about first hijacking the ladies from the two guys then secondly just going over and being a proper wingman. This guys wingman was not on the case at all his friend was on the right of him while the girls friend was on the far side to him, looking bored. We all know its not a good sign if the friend is bored it means she likely to pull her friend away or tell her she wants to move because no one wants to be the third wheel just hanging on the edge. It was a shocking display from the friend! I mean if two guys go out on the town its assumed that they would both be able to play the wingman role for the other. I couldnt belive it.

Heres a list of a few traits i belive every good wingman should have

  • He understands his mission

A good wingman will give you first choice on a group of girls when you go over to them. He will then start to keep the other one entertained regardless of his interest in her. A good wingman is able to do this with minimal effort.

  • He keeps you presentable

Your wingman should be looking out for you all night. Making sure you dont drink too much and start acting the fool, telling you if your breath is kicking or if you have something on your face . He’s making sure the attention to attract  to yourself is the right kind.

  • He Understands you

You and your wingman have been around each other loads of times so verbal communication isnt needed anymore a simple look or the way you start acting is enough to pass a message on. Even the use of certain words when talking to women could be enough to pass a message on.

  • He prevents cockblocking by running interference 

Its safe to say that in the woman talking to is good looking and will be attracting attention from other guys in the area. This will mean other guys may try to cut into your conversation with her, this is commonly known as cockblocking. You wingman would minimise this by running interference on any other guy trying to get involved while you are and making sure you have the time you need to get the job done.

  • He read the situation

A good wingman is able to read the situation he will know when he needs to jump into the conversation  to move it along and when he needs to back off and let you work your stuff. He is also able to recognize when you are barking up the wrong tree and wont be afraid to let you know that so you dont waste your time with the wrong women.

  • He will sacrifice himself

Your wing man will not be afraid of being shot down by a group of girls. He will initiate on a group of women even if the chances of him succeeding are nill he will put himself on the line for your success. softening up the overall defence of the group so that you can get to the one you want.

  • He Bigs you up

Your wingman will play himself down while elevating your status to the group of women. All the times that you were covered in glory are ready in the forefront of his mind to be retold  to the intended audience. Timing is crucial but he will always have that down to a T.

  • He takes the ugly friend

Sounds mean if your a woman but its how it works unfortunately. If your from the U.K and over the age of 20 you should know the song Butterz Friend .Women do tend to have friends that dont look as good as they do. Its a wingmans sworn duty to take the butters friend, if it is necessary he may even have to take the ugly friend home for the progress of the friend. Its just another way the wingman may sacrifice  himself for you.

i got this

  • He goes undercover

a good wingman is also a great spy. He will go in a gather information for you on the girl that you want, see if she has a boyfriend or if she has bisexual tendencies. He will find out what her turns on/offs are.

  • He pumps you up

A good wingman is a good motivator he will pump you up making sure your confidence is at its peak for the night. He will advise you when to go into action and when to hold back for abit.

I think those are the basic quailties that every wingman should have. Following them will allow you to never let your partner down in he time of need.



Perfect Moments

I was watch “take me home tonight” the other night and  the main charter was asked  why he never asked his highschool crush out when they were back in highschool. He replied that he never had his ‘in’ his perfect moment to ask, its a fair answer but its also a big lie people who say that are just afraid to admit out load they were afraid of being rejected by their crush.

Perfect moments in life are a rare occurrence in life. When they do come around they are magical but you shouldn’t be waiting! wasting your life. You can make these moments yourself  Just seize your opportunity, life’s to short to be waiting for perfect moments. Do things that make a moment perfect instead.

Apparently men are scared of women

I read an article last week that stated that  we should fear things that we don’t understand and in that case since men don’t understand women we must fear them. Sounds like nonsense right  though the article itself was really well constructed with a good factual basis.

I’ve got to fall on the side that yes there are some men that are afraid of women mostly because  they can break you heart and having experienced it myself I can tell you nothing hurts more. The article goes on to say that fear effects how we do everything around women  even how we eat, talk and dress.

Are men scared of women in a sense yes. I mean they say “hell has no fury like that of a scorned woman” we all know that a situation we want to avoid also there is no man that is not afraid of rejection when first approaching a woman but its how you deal with the rejection that is the most important part. Men who cant deal with it are the ones who are usually afraid of women since they couldn’t deal with the feeling of rejection and there are a lot of people trying to cash in on men that are like that. I think its sad that some guys want to cash in on their fellow man but everyone has got to make a living somehow.

Like I said in my post about advice ‘ you should ask someone who knows’ even if a guy is married he don’t know everything about women, your best bet is to ask your female friends generally if you have a lot of female  friends the fear of women lessens since your always around them and interacting with them.


Over the last few days i have herd some of my friends quoting advice from people who aren’t really qualified to be giving advice on the subject. My opinion is that  no advice is better then advice from people who dont know better. No offence to the people giving the advice  but its just how I feel i see it this way you wouldn’t ask anyone but a pilot how to fly a plane, the same should apply when your asking question about situations to do with life love and sex.

Also im not saying those people don’t know nothing but it would be better to ask people with more experience in the subject.

Keep it simple

One thing I’m always telling my female friends is keep it simple. I mean why is it so hard for them to ask the hard question they want to play games and drop hints ” i’m just gonna see what happens”,  yh that’s really going to help if you both want different things from your dynamic. A woman being direct is a breath of fresh air I’m telling you! I mean most of the problems that they are having would be solved with a simple direct question.

If you want  to know something just ask I mean the worst that can happen is that you don’t get  an answer. No guy likes to play games  or beat around the bush, hints don’t work around here. You cant guide us to talk about a subject were not thinking about instead of wasting time trying just cut to the chase

Moving on

This was very out of the blue I was on my way to a Vertalex meeting when I was sent a message by my friend that went like this “‎​So mr discussion, ‎​Do you think its ever simple to leave a relationship? ‎​Or to forget about the person you once loved” I paused a thought for a second ‘is it every easy to leave a relationship?’ I’ve been in a few relationships all have ended in different way. Some were hard break ups and some were effort less.

I replied to my friend ” You never forget about the people you love even if you fall in love with someone else you still remember the people that came before. Sometimes it is easy so leave a relationship because people can naturally just grow apart or you can both see that its not working. Its harder to leave when its the fact one person dont  wanna be in the relationship anymore or because of one mistake. When its one mistake and everything is fine people will wanna leave on principle of coz of pride but were only human people make mistakes all the time its how we grow as people. When one person dosent wanna be in the relationship no more its a sense of abandonment for the other no1 liked the feeling of being left behind that’s what makes moving on hard I guess”.

I personally think moving on is the most challenging thing about being a human being thou a lot of people may think moving on involves leaving something behind I lean more towards the idea that its more about taking everything on-board learning ,accepting and then being able to move forward without any resentment or ill feelings to events or people from the past.

Life is constantly throwing challenges at us that we need to overcome and move on from and the all shape you to be the person you finally become some take longer then others and some get there quickly all that really matters is you get there.

Albert Einstein once said ” Life is like a bicycle. to keep your balance you must keep moving”

Tidal Wave by Azizur Jazeem Cassabi Rahman. Part 2

 You guys did it you made it hit 100 view before Monday so here it is part 2 of izzys story.

“Wooo! Let’s make an exit then shall we? J”

Her reply would suggest I just DID agree to go back to hers for some hanky panky.

I found myself panicking a little as I said goodbye to all the guys, they were beyond surprised to say the least.

“Izzy, you filthy little soomka!!!”

Shouted Spig with a huge naughty grin on his face. It wasn’t enough to make me LOL though as not even I knew how I was going to get myself out of this one. It was a tricky situation indeed.

She got into the car and sat on the passenger side as we drove down Edgware road and passed the Marble Arch roundabout. London was still thriving @ 1:45 am and the bums and pervs were in top form tonight as they prowled the brightly lit streets of Central London.

We didn’t talk much in the car, well I didn’t… She did however; the alcohol was in full control of her by now. Her speech was slurred and she wasn’t making much sense, she didn’t need a reply from me as she was having enough fun by herself.

As we continued driving I was pondering on the thought that had occurred to me earlier at the Shisha Café. Why would this person just enter my mind so randomly? It actually scared me, It scared me A LOT. When I calmed down a little I started to think about it logically and it wasn’t long after that when it dawned on me how much of an effect this person has actually had on me. They’re words, beliefs, view on life, morals and values. It’s weird… I can’t quite explain it, it’s like when you want to do something bad/evil but the conscience inside of you tries its best to deter you whilst whispering in your ear “don’t do it…!” Except in my case, the only thing I could compare this conscience to was this person, you could say it even influenced my view on Hana and how I behaved around her.

The thought had now matured a lot more now as I explored it further. As dangerous as it was, I found myself whisked away in that funky imagination of mine and started night dreaming whilst driving @ 2am. I envisioned myself on a beautiful deserted island; in the presence of a storm. The skies were dark and foreboding and the gusts of wind that slashed against my body were strong enough to knock me over. As I stood alone on the sandy beach I saw on the horizon of the sea what looked like a wave forming and heading towards me. A menacing, gargantuan and terrifying wave that just seemed to grow larger and larger, accompanied by the thunderous sounds of a really pissed off and angry ocean: A Tidal Wave.

It’s pretty damn clear what any normal person would do if they saw a Tidal Wave violently booming towards them at over 200mph, they would turn around and run as fast as the laws of physics would allow them to in a bid to save their own lives. But me? I decided to stay and face it. I pictured myself standing in this serene beach on a small uncharted island with nothing but the exotic palm trees and miles upon miles of rock and tropical undergrowth behind me. Eyes calmly shut with no hint of a clenched eyelid, head tilted back in anticipation and arms subtly spread beside my body. I waited for my Tidal Wave to approach me as I felt the heat of the sand below my feet and each and every grain between my toes. I braced myself.

And then it hit me, the sudden realization, that epiphany moment, when it feels like a million and one things just hit you all together at once. It was overwhelming, it was powerful, it was scary, it was a revelation and it woke me up. Yet, it was only ‘one’ thing. And it wasn’t what I was expecting it to be. The profound effect this person had on me can only be compared to the Tidal Wave I envisioned. This person? This person was MY TIDAL WAVE.

Hana was awfully quiet; I snapped out of this fantasy in my head and looked to my left to see her totally zonked out. I had a lucky escape. The sat nav in my car bought me directly outside her house and I was forced to wake her up. Something I should have thought about twice, because the moment her dark mascara laden eyes opened she threw up all over the passenger side of the car. My brother is actually going to kill me as it was his BMW I borrowed for the night. She was in a state, she was crying, she didn’t want to be alone and it was clear her break up was having a really bad effect on her. There wasn’t much that could be done really, to cut it short she apologised and invited me in to her flat.

I took some cleaning products from the kitchen and cleaned out the car, it wasn’t anywhere near enough though, cos the sour stench of her vomit was actually unimaginable. Seriously. It was ERRRGGGHHHHH. So I returned to her flat for something a lot more potent, upon entering I saw her crashed out on her bed. I quietly tip toed into the kitchen and luckily found some Febreeze! I went back to my car and finished the whole bottle on the upholstery. Yet again, it wasn’t enough. So I returned to her flat ONCE MORE with her keys and saw a nice collection of perfumes in her room, she had good taste dude, I’ll give her that much! Her bedroom carried the sweet scent of a summer garden, and I as approached her perfume cabinet my nose was greeted with the smell of her shampoo being emitted from her wet towel as it dried on her radiator. I grabbed a bottle from the cabinet and went back down to the car and sprayed an excessive amount of Ghost on the suede seats and carpet.

Hey, she was the one that vomited remember? So it was only right I felt obliged to use as much as I desired to remove that odour cursed by the devil himself. (Okay maybe its cos I actually LOVE that perfume too, but what the hell =p)

So I quickly returned to her flat for the FINAL time and returned the perfume and keys. Before leaving her bedroom I glanced back and took a moment to look @ her. I can safely say, hand on my heart, with 100% honesty, that I don’t think anything would have happened on the night, not even the slightest. I cocked up out of nervousness due to that whole random thought but even so. I don’t think I would have taken advantage of a drunken girl just to get a quick burst of shallow satisfaction.

As I watched @ her sleep peacefully, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for everything she had gone through with her ex-boyfriend. She clearly loved him a lot and he just tore her heart out. What intrigued me even more was how eager she was for that whole male company thing again. She’s only ever had sex with one guy yet she was so desperate to experience it again, regardless of whom the man was, in this case me? I understand females tend to be a lot more emotional and have a deeper connection with the whole sex topic but tonight just proved that this doesn’t always necessarily relate to ALL females. As my friend once said to me: “Once you pop, you can’t stop!” and it was pretty evident she enjoyed sex too much to just give it up so quickly.

For me sex wouldn’t just be sex. It would be making love. Something I believe should be shared by a couple who have genuine feelings and love for each other. I for one can’t miss what I never had, and I’m waiting for marriage before I delve into that zone. How many people in this world can actually make you feel extraordinary? Special? Appreciated and loved? Not many in all honesty, would be quite an accomplishment finding that someone who made you feel like that every day. But for Hana, I guess sleeping with someone was just a temporary replacement of those feelings, the next best thing, even if it did just last for a short moment. If I was to take an educated guess based on what I learnt about her on the night, I would say all she wanted was to feel good about herself, anything to take the pain and memory of her ex away, she craved it so much that she may have believed sex would be the only way in attaining that.

Would I have been thinking like this before I was hit by this so called “Tidal Wave?” I don’t think so. Would I have given in to the temptation before the Tidal Wave? HELL NO, I’m way too much of a scaredy cat! Not to mention Islam forbids me to! But something I can safely say is that I genuinely didn’t want to do anything BECAUSE of this Tidal Wave. All I could think about WAS them, they’re example, their lifestyle etc. That thought alone scared the crap out of me. All that was going through my mind was them, I couldn’t help but think of anyone or anything else BUT THEM!

I left her keys on her dressing table and calmly exited the flat whilst appreciating the décor and the interior design; she truly was a successful rich girl accountant. I returned to my car and as I drove out of North West London and hit the M1, I reflected on all the events that happened on the night. I felt like a different man. I learnt that sometimes running away from change can do more harm than good. It can come in any shape or form and at the most unexpected of times. It just comes down to whether you’re brave enough to face it head on and see what it will bring. I stayed to face the music. I didn’t block the thought out, I embraced it. I didn’t run away, I challenged it. Everyone will have come face to face with this tidal wave at some point in their life, in my case it was in the form of a certain somebody who I have an unparalleled amount of respect for, something which accumulated in a short space of time.

I’ve still got a lot left to figure out, why did it even occur In the first place? Could it have been helped? What was I really feeling? Why now? What do I do about it? Is this the start of a long and laborious process of infatuation? I don’t know, I really don’t know! I guess what I’m trying to get @ here is that at times you shouldn’t be afraid to accept and embrace the very thing you might run from. Don’t pass it off so quickly, take your time to find out what’s going on. Let it approach you, don’t rush to it. And don’t be afraid to accept the fact that it may even be responsible for the very reason you make certain decisions, or maybe even define you. People; guys especially, have a really difficult time in accepting that someone may have had an effect on them. They fail to realise how it could change them as a person whilst around friends or family and be completely oblivious to their own behaviour. 8 times out of 10 it’s mainly because of a certain female. Could be a girlfriend, crush, mate, genuine inspiration or even a total stranger.

As it currently is in my case, I think I’ve just discovered a part of me that’s was long lost and hidden deep inside. It’s a side of me I welcome with open arms and look forward to exploring. And what was responsible for this awakening? If you haven’t figured it out already then I haven’t mentioned it enough. It was my Tidal Wave.

So there you have it! Ok, ok, ok, okkkk!! It might not have 100% uncut as I didn’t mention the name of this tidal wave person but it had to be done! So I guess I’m not ALL about religion, history, politics, games and serious stuff huh?! I just like to keep some of my escapades private and to myself as talking about it excessively might seem like bragging @ times, I’m just a solitary guy In some ways.

But I can understand why certain aspects of life might be on the forefront of people’s minds @ times. Girls, Boys, Money, Love etc. It’s all become such a major part of life in today’s world. But for me? There will always be one priority that will always take first place in my heart and mind; ISLAM. That much about me will never change. And even then, I rarely speak or brag about my religion unless I feel I have to do so by either defending the faith or just getting into general discussions with friends.

This whole Tidal Wave of mine? I might update you with another entry sometime in the near future to let you know how it’s progressed. But I’ll only do so IF I have an eventful story to tie it in with like In the entry above! Heh heh….. But I have to admit, it’s funny, hilarious even how much of an effect just one person can have on you….

It’s nearing the time to open my fast now and I’m really tired because it was Laylat al Bara’at last night, aka the Night of Emancipation, a Muslim holiday celebrated in preparation for the start of Ramadan where we traditionally stay up all night praying. Boy is Ramadan going to be hard this year. But anyway, I think I’ll wrap up this overly looooooong blog entry so I can finally go drink some water! (More thirsty than hungry right now!)

So now you have some sort of insight into some of my experiences and why I might be the way I am. I really wish I could say it was everything to know about me but oh ho ho boy are there a lot more entries to be read before you’re anywhere near that level. One thing I can say for sure though is you might have started off reading this blog/journal entry knowing me as Izzy. But now, I think it’s safe to say you all know me as Azizur Jazeem Cassabi Rahman.